That's My Bush League

It is rumored that Dick Cheney is the stealth President, but is it possible that the actual President has his own clandestine occupation? Could he be the stealth baseball commissioner? While Bud Selig, commissioner in fact, has been relegated to mutterances about (but not solving) labor disputes, Dubya's been promoting the game nationwide, grabbing flashbulbs and credit for the first pitch at the Brewers' new stadium, top, while Selig--former team owner--lobbed his pitch in anonymity and had to vie for press by dedicating two statues out front. Further evidence?

JAN. 25--Is in office less than a week when the son of slugger Ted Williams reports that Bush called Ted (pictured with Bush last year) in a New York City hospital to wish him well after open-heart surgery.

FEB. 7--Plays host at a dinner at the White House for Derek Jeter, Tom Glavine, Cal Ripken, Yankees manager Joe Torre and others; for dessert he serves cookies shaped like hot dogs and miniature containers of french fries.

FEB. 21--Gives first in-depth national interview to sports commentator Bob Costas on Costas' HBO talk show, where they discuss baseball...at length.

MARCH 30--Is host at a lunch for Hall of Famers such as Whitey Ford, Yogi Berra, Stan Musial and Nolan Ryan, where he announces his T-Ball Initiative: he and Laura will play host to T-ball games on the South Lawn to promote the national pastime. (First game was scheduled for last Sunday.)

APRIL 9--Invites widows of Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris for a screening of Billy Crystal's HBO baseball movie 61*.

APRIL 28--At the White House Correspondents' Dinner, SNL's Darrell Hammond presents Bush with a baseball glove, saying he always wanted to play catch with a President. After the dinner, he claims Bush's spokesman told him to call the following week.