Kate Mulgrew

Kate Mulgrew stars in Star Trek: Voyager; the finale airs May 23 at 8 p.m.

Q. I promise this will be painless.

A. I like it painful. Then I know I'm fully alive. Let's engage here.

Q. Why didn't you and Chakotay ever get it on? I have no idea what that means.

A. To get it on?

Q. No, Chakotay.

A. Chakotay is my first officer, right?

Q. Sure.

A. I had a hell of a task in front of me, to demystify a female in command for all those teenage boys who are Star Trek fans. Dropping trou, getting into all that trouble--red alert.

Q. Jeri Ryan plays this half borg, but the only inhuman thing I can see about her is this little design on her cheek, unless borgs have giant breasts.

A. She's amply endowed, but I don't think that's typical of the borg.

Q. You've got the second highest rated show on UPN, but isn't that like being the second best student at Gonzaga?

A. How dare you. That's my former husband's school.

Q. You played Mrs. Columbo. How much time did you have to spend visualizing having sex with Peter Falk?

A. As an actress it was my obligation to do so on a daily basis. As a human being I summarily avoided it.

Q. At home before sex, do you ever yell "Engage!" at your husband?

A. No, I talk about tachyon emissions.

Q. What's that?

A. Tachyon emissions are the most powerful subspace emissions. So I just pretend my husband is the ship. And we go to impulse.

Q. How do you spell this tachyon thing?

A. This is a hopeless interview because you've never watched even two seconds of Voyager. T-a-c-h-y-o-n. And I'm sure you know how to spell emissions.

--By Joel Stein