News Quiz

1. George W. Bush officially celebrated Cinco de Mayo:

a) on May 4 b) by executing five Mexicans c) by making Karl Rove eat five jars of Hellmann's d) by granting Mexico independence

2. After drawing their millionth visitor to the National Zoo, these pandas:

a) climbed a tree b) escaped from Jimmy, the Bamboo Stealing Keeper c) posed for the saucy new World Wildlife Fund logo

3. Two pages of the budget were missing because:

a) Cheney ripped out Bush's "Sons of Presidents" deduction b) someone forgot to photocopy them c) of the Lott-Daschle paper-football match

4. The Pope asked God to forgive Catholics for:

a) all of Frank McCourt's brothers b) making those school uniforms so darn hot c) the Filet-O-Fish d) sins against Orthodox Christians

5. Rep. James Traficant, who was indicted on Friday, often ends speeches with:

a) "Invest in ADM!" b) "Beam me up!" c) "Toss me a shiv!" d) "I can't sit down!"

ANSWERS: 1-a, 2-a, 3-b, 4-d, 5-b