Numbers
$894,880 Total income of President George W. Bush and wife Laura last year, as reported on income tax documents released last week

$36 million Income of Vice President Dick Cheney and wife Lynne

591 American service members formerly listed as unaccounted for whose remains have been identified and returned to their families since the end of the Vietnam War

$6 million Amount spent each year by the U.S. on recovery operations in Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia

1,992 Americans still missing in action in Southeast Asia, including 1,498 in Vietnam

$1,146 Cost of deluxe accommodations offered by one company to reporters covering Timothy McVeigh's execution--including chilled bottled water and transportation around prison grounds by golf cart

1,400 Reporters requesting press credentials to cover the execution

$20 Allowance for McVeigh's final meal

Sources: New York Times (2); Washington Post (2); Los Angeles Times and USA Today

News Quiz
1. Israeli PM Ariel Sharon had the lights in his home turned off because:

a) that's how his girlfriend likes it b) of his new glow-in-the-dark stars c) he didn't pay his electricity bill d) of Barak's energy deregulation plan

2. In this picture:

a) stupid Billy Bob thought it was a couples cross burning b) Spanish penitents parade on Good Friday c) we see that the Grand Wizard got her job for more than just her hatred

3. Abercrombie & Fitch pulled its catalog from Utah because:

a) it's got nudity b) Book of Mormon forbids "fitching" c) IOC kickbacks are too pricey d) if Orrin Hatch won't pose, Orrin Hatch suffers

4. Microsoft Office XP eliminated Clippy as a default feature because:

a) Clippy's agent asked for too much b) of a cheaper mascot, Severancy c) Clippy's short answers drove everyone nuts d) Clippy stank

5. Demonstrators may bring which to the McVeigh execution?

a) a date b) a Bible c) foam-rubber fingers d) Jujubes

ANSWERS: 1-c, 2-b, 3-a, 4-d, 5-b

Ask Dr. Notebook
Q: What ever happened to the quiet riot? Or was that just an '80s metal band?

A: Yes, there's a big push to keep riots civil. Check out the latest in crowd-control tech: beanbag guns, Spidey-style Webshots that launch Kevlar nets, PepperBall shooters and tasers that fire probes charged with a 50,000-volt shock. The heavy-duty stuff is yet to come: the U.S. military is developing a microwave gun whose beam feels like burning, and it's toying with sonic weapons that emit sound waves strong enough to knock you over or vibrate your internal organs to the point of nausea. By the way, Quiet Riot is still around; catch them touring in Mexico.

Over & Under
OVERRATED Canadian ice wines As dessert wines go, these imports are good but hardly worth the buzz--or the $80 a bottle some fetch. Besides, how difficult can it be to find frozen grapes in Canada?

UNDERRATED Naked news Canadian website offers best int'l coverage this side of the BBC; naked part is gravy

Scandals
Pardongate Heats Up
Pressing her investigation of the Clinton pardons, U.S. Attorney MARY JO WHITE has subpoenaed the ex-President's brother Roger, requiring him to appear before a grand jury on April 20 for questioning about his role in an alleged swindle involving a Texas pair's attempt to get a pardon for a relative. ROGER CLINTON'S lawyer, Bart Williams, is asking White to give his client time to decide whether to testify or claim the Fifth, but she may be a tough sell. "They are moving speedily along, and they are not letting people have extensions," says a lawyer involved in the probe. BETH DOZORETZ, a friend of Bill Clinton's, testified before the grand jury earlier this month, as have JACK QUINN and ROBERT FINK, lawyers for pardoned fugitive MARC RICH. A lawyer close to the case says White has also struck an immunity deal with political donor DENISE RICH, which means that anything the financier's ex-wife says cannot be used against her. White has zipped through most of the witnesses in the case of four Hasidic Jews sentenced for stealing government funds. There's not much there, says another lawyer. Even if there were proof that HILLARY CLINTON promised to lobby her husband for the commutations in exchange for the town's votes in her Senate run, that's no crime. "Politicians make promises all the time," says the lawyer. "That's nothing new--or illegal." BY VIVECA NOVAK

The List
Things we'll miss from China during the new cold war:

--pandas --fake Louis Vuitton handbags --Rumble in the Bronx II --black U.S. Army berets --Gap clothes --kung pao chicken --decent firecrackers --deer-antler powder --Falun Gong workout craze --kanji tattoos --7-ft.-tall B-ball players --campaign contributions --a place to dig holes to

Then & Now
1980 Robert De Niro puts on more than 60 lbs. for his role in Raging Bull and is heralded for his massive weight gain.

2001 Renee Zellweger adds a much heralded 20 lbs. for her role in Bridget Jones's Diary but still looks thin.