On Top of the Covers

While all the significant others are out buying drill bits, men of America know how to kill the last weekend before Christmas: with NFL football. And while L.I. Slim isn't expecting any tools under the tree, he's still got visions of wildcard teams dancing in his head. The challenge this week: Who still cares about their game? The care nots: Pittsburgh, who must lose to TENNESSEE by 65 points for this game to affect their playoff future. Which is why they're underdogs on the road against a good Oiler team playing for pride. Guess what: no one's got more pride than Bill Cowher. Take the three and run. And the 49ers, who haven't had to care in, like, 9 weeks, are getting two from the Seahawks. WHAT? Despite the very real possibility that everybody knows something L.I. Slim doesn't, he just can't picture Coach Mooch losing this game and risking a playoff letdown in his debut year.
The cares: Both DETROIT (without help from Colts or Philly) and the Jets, who are in only with a win. Which makes this one a tough pick . . . Tuna's time is next year. But at 6.5-point dogs? J-men'll keep it close. Take the points.

The List:

COWBOYS -3 Giants
Jets +6.5 LIONS
Steelers +3 OILERS
Eagles +5.5 SKINS
Saints +8 CHIEFS
Colts +6.5 VIKES
BENGALS -6.5 Ravens
BUCCANEERS -7.5 Bears
Jaguars -3.5 RAIDERS
BRONCOS -14 Chargers
CARDINALS +2.5 Falcons
49ers +2 SEAHAWKS
Patriots +2.5 DOLPHINS

Like the Raiders, the KC Line is playing out a season turned sour. But unlike the Raiders, KC says, even down eight games, that the season's not over and the opportunities are at hand. So: Take the Falcons minus two and a half in the desert against the CARDS, mainly because Chris Chandler (!) is the NFC's second highest rated passer and Jake the Snake is not. Likewise, take the vet (Dan Marino) and the DOLPHINS minus another 2.5 over the Pats and a guy who with one throw lost the biggest game of the year in Foxboro. And because it's Christmas, the season of miracles, bet on Junior Seau to play the re-Charger, getting 14 big points, to keep the score close against the BRONCOS

The Picks:

COWBOYS -3 Giants
LIONS -6.5 Jets
Steelers +3 OILERS
SKINS -5.5 Eagles
CHIEFS -8 Saints
Colts +6.5 VIKES
BENGALS -6.5 Ravens
BUCCANEERS -7.5 Bears
Jaguars -3.5 RAIDERS
Chargers +14 BRONCOS
Falcons -2.5 CARDINALS
49ers +2 SEAHAWKS
DOLPHINS -2.5 Patriots