Bush Charlotte Simmons Mystery Solved!

When President Bush returned from his bike ride last week carrying I am Charlotte Simmons under his arm, observers seemed more worried about whether he had completed the novel than whether the Leader of the Free World should be reading and mountain biking simultaneously. The President was supposed to have finished Tom Wolfe's critique of political correctness on college campuses months ago, so why was he hanging on to it now? White House aides were quick to put minds at ease. Bush's biking partner for the day, Mike Wood, had borrowed the book—which includes ample accounts of steamy sex-play—and had returned Bush's copy that day. Sources familiar with Bush's current bedside favorites say he is reading The Aquariums of Pyongyang: Ten Years in the North Korean Gulag by Kang Chol-Hwan. Former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger recommended the book, and now Bush is encouraging his staff to read it too. They'll get to it soon enough. They're all still reading I am Charlotte Simmons.