Paula Jones: The Cotton Candy Test

WASHINGTON: "These six or seven hundred pages are like a big piece of cotton candy," said Clinton attorney Bob Bennett, after his opposite numbers in the Jones camp released their hefty legal filing Friday. "When you bite into it, it just doesn't exist."

Bennett has a point. Now that media gourmets -- TIME Daily included -- have devoured and digested the mammoth motion, it appears at first taste to be profoundly unsatisfying. For starters, there's close to a hundred pages of regurgitated newspaper clippings or website printouts from the Washington Post, while other sections are devoted entirely to Paula's performance evaluations back when she was a humble Arkansas secretary. You'll no doubt be glad to know, for example, that she managed to complete her grammar and usage and stress management seminars.

The Jones attorneys' conclude that "Mr Clinton ... has engaged in a vast enterprise to suppress evidence in this case." However, apart from the hearsay declaration of one John B. Thompson, no proof is offered. The meatiest chunks are President Clinton and Kathleen Willey's depositions, and they're of little relevance to the Jones case. Judge Susan Webber Wright may pass on them -- but you can bet that Ken Starr, hungry for perjury charges, will ask for more.