The Linda and Monica Show

Now it really is all Monica, all the time. The House Judiciary Committee finally released copies of those elusive Tripp tapes Tuesday morning –- many weeks after they were originally promised. Censoring all sensitive, personal or irrelevant information appears to have taken way more time than expected. Scandal-fatigued TV viewers and radio listeners may come to wish it had taken even longer: There are 37 tapes containing 22 hours of the most publicized girl talk in the world, and they hit the airwaves just as soon as news directors got their hands on them.

Transcripts of the tapes, of course, have been available ever since the second Ken Starr data dump back in September. But what was previously available only in hard-to-read PDF files or hefty legal paperbacks is now jumping off the page and coming alive as it is performed by the original actresses. We can hear all the little details like those "double clicks" that an unsuspecting Lewinsky notes at one point, which the duplicitous Tripp is able to pass off as "my gum." And, of course, we get to hear Monica's voice for the first time. Guessing what the ex-White House intern sounds like has, it seems, become America's favorite parlor game. A recent CNN/USA Today poll shows that 53 percent of respondents suspected she possesed a "high and childish" voice. They were half right. As it turns out, Lewinsky's tone oscillates between excitability and solemnity -- in short, just like any twentysomething with a boyfriend problem.