Paul Slansky's Weekly Index of the News

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Biden, Joe
•man he called "the most dangerous Vice President...in American history" is dropped in on by

Brooks, Albert
•Obama is advised by not to apologize for saying something funny just because the likes of Hannity and O'Reilly take huge and fake umbrage at it

Broun, Paul
•Obama is compared to Hitler — yes, HITLER!!! — by

Bush, George W.
•plans of for issuing last-minute difficult-to-overturn regulations are rendered moot by the inconvenient fact that the deadline for such actions passed six months ago

•regrets about "Bring 'em on" and "Mission Accomplished" are expressed by

•regrets about letting New Orleans drown, invading Iraq under false pretenses, condoning torture, ignoring global warming, scoffing at science, presiding over the collapse of the economy, and various other squanderings are not expressed by

Edwards, John
•less-than-triumphant re-emergence of

Eisenstadt, Martin
•credit is claimed for revealing Palin's unawareness of Africa's continentness despite nonexistence of

Graham, Lindsay
•Republican losses are blamed on candidates' propensity to come across "as a bunch of grumpy old men" by

Hathaway, Anne
•"unspeakably unsanitary" conditions at Brooklyn jail are not enjoyed by guilty-of-fraud ex-boyfriend of

Lieberman, Joe
•Bayh says apology is seriously owed by

Lohan, Lindsay
•delight in America having its "first colored president" of

•sexuality of is addressed inconclusively by

Miller, Dennis
•Barney Frank's homosexuality is nastily joked about by

•obscure and unfunny pop culture references are still being dropped by

Novak, Bob
•Plame's name would be re-revealed — if he had it to do over again — by

Obama, Barack
•canine dilemma of

•Clinton is reportedly under consideration for secretary of state by

•willingness of to see Lieberman's egregious behavior go unpunished

•worst Bush policies to be instantly reversed by

Olbermann, Keith
•non-voting policy of is absurdly defended as "a symbolic gesture" by

•23/6 Web site exposes ridiculous pomposity of

Palin, Sarah
•continuing fabricated concern about Bill Ayers of

•Couric's most damaging question to is erroneously recalled by

•inability of to stop rehashing campaign speech of

•McCain aides who spread stories about ignorance of are called "jerks" by

•"open doors" to "plow right on through" are sought, with God's help, by

•open door to Senate seat is less likely to be plowed through by

•unavoidability of

Pawlenty, Tim
•McCain's loss is attributed to voters not wanting "to follow cranks" by

Scarborough, Joe
•F-bomb is dropped by

Simpson, O.J.
•eagerness to "get back to fishing and playing golf" is delusionally expressed by

Sirico, Tony
•new fragrance of is unveiled by

Smith, Shepard
•claim that the mainstream media caused Obama's victory is contemptuously dismissed by

Stevens, Ted
•possibility of expulsion of from Republican Conference is strongly resisted by

Ukraine
•fist fights break out in Parliament of

West, Kanye
•self is pronounced "the voice of this generation, of this decade" by