This Preposterous Week! Paul Slansky's News Index

ACORN
• punking of particularly dim employees of by actors blatantly not who they claimed to be leads to cutting off of federal financing to

Anastos, Ernie
• unusual on-air banter with weatherman by

Antichrist, the
• poll shows that 21% of New Jersey voters think President Obama is, or at least might be

Bachmann, Representative Michele
• fear of that President Obama is going to "decide how many calories we consume or what types of food we consume"

Baucus, Senator Max
• bipartisanship is achieved by with health-care-reform bill hated on both sides of the aisle but, unsurprisingly, loved by the health-care industry that has given so much money to the campaigns of

birth control pills
• antiabortion Floridians seek to criminalize

Brady, Representative Kevin
• complaints of about the failure of the D.C. Metro system to provide better service for 9/12 tea partiers ring hollow considering that government funding for improving the subway was voted against by

Brown, Dan
• new book is published by

Bush, George W.
• Arlington, Texas, students who were not allowed to hear President Obama's speech to them last week will not, after all, be bused off campus to hear a speech by
• former speechwriter for is the author of the latest, though surely not the last, book containing embarrassing examples of the ignorance of

Carter, Jimmy
• refreshing refusal of to back down from unpopular yet obviously valid assertion by that racism has a little something to do with why at least some people — particularly the ones with spittle-flecked faces contorted in rage — feel so free to express their hatred of President Obama

FCC
• solemn assessment by that the "graphic and shocking, albeit brief, exposure of Janet Jackson's bare right breast to a nationwide audience composed of millions of children and adults" warrants — lo, these 5½ years after that insanely overhyped distraction from the Iraq war — further investigation

Garlasco, Marc
• amassing of Nazi memorabilia by — and posting by on collector sites of comments like, "That is so cool! The leather SS jacket makes my blood go cold it is so COOL!" — leads to suspension of as senior military analyst for Human Rights Watch, after which comes the belated realization by that "images of the Second World War German military are hurtful to many"

Gingrich, Newt
• PAC of mistakenly chooses pornographer to receive its 2009 Entrepreneur of the Year Award — look, here's the letter

Guyton, Cheronda
• firing of from position as senior vice president by Wells Fargo for staying and partying in a bank-owned Malibu beach house

Hipp, Paul
• great song by — "We're Number 37" — makes fun of anti-health-care-reform protesters

Jackson, La Toya
• brother of is said by to have looked "absolutely fabulous" in his casket

Leno, Jay
• toothless — no, gumless — comedy of is decidedly unappreciated by critics

Limbaugh, Rush
• citing by of an insignificant incident of schoolboy bullying — initially blown out of all miniscule proportion by Matt Drudge and jumped on by Michelle Malkin — as evidence of some kind of anti-white uprising in "Obama's America" prompts repulsed observers to characterize as "evil" and "vile" and "odious"

9/11
• detailed account of the ignoring by Bush, Cheney, Tenet, Rice and Rumsfeld of the increasingly ominous warnings about the imminence of the attacks that took place on

Obama, President Barack
• financial leaders are warned by that "we will not go back to the days of reckless behavior and unchecked excess," but really, haven't we already?
• patience with is increasingly being lost by supporters of as a result of the refusal or inability of to fight back with passion and outrage against the obvious enemies of
• Star Wars lightsaber is geekily brandished by

Onion, The
• Sunday magazine of features funny cover story

Reaper, the Grim
• Jim Carroll and Larry Gelbart and Henry Gibson and Jody Powell and Patrick Swayze and Mary Travers are claimed by, along with the world's oldest person

showerheads
• heretofore unsuspected potential dangers lurking in

Taitz, Orly
• delusional claims of are witheringly shredded by federal judge
• fellow member of California bar files formal complaint against

Washington Post
• Sunday magazine article about quadruple amputee is killed after publisher of says advertisers want "happier stories, not 'depressing' ones"

West, Kanye
• boorishness of earns the sobriquet "jackass" from President Obama prior to a CNBC interview, news of which is tweeted by ABC's Terry Moran, after which said tweet is quickly apologized for and removed by ABC News because it was an "off-the-record" comment, after which video of the comment is posted by Politico's Ben Smith, after which said video is quickly removed by Politico because of something to do with being "respectful to a fellow news-gathering operation," but obviously there's no way such a thing can be kept hidden so here it is
• Jimmy Carter — he's just bursting with opinions this week — says boorishness of was "completely uncalled for" and that "his punishment was to appear on the new Jay Leno show"

Williams, Serena
• profanity-laced loss of temper by at U.S. Open leads to loss of match by

Wilson, Representative "Joe"
• Democrats boldly pass the weakest possible sanction — oooooh, "disapproval!" — against
• some things you might not know about
• something you might wonder about