Hard Time on Imrali Island

This ain't no midnight train to Georgia. Abdullah Ocalan is in a Turkish prison now, accused of some 14,000 crimes as one of the top dogs in the Kurds' bloody independence fight against the Turks. Upside? Martyrdom -- Ocalan's devious capture and handover has galvanized Kurds across Europe. Downside? "Going medeival" doesn't even begin to cover it. The curious armchair tourist can always take the Midnight Express (1978). Alan Parker directs Oliver Stone's Oscar-winning screenplay -- and check out Bo Hopkins (the Wild Bunch's first corpse) and Randy Quaid backing up star-for-a-year Brad Davis as the Turks' most famous whipping boy since Peter O'Toole. Moral: Leave the drugs at home.

This week's Please Remain in Your Homes feature: Like last week, a tough choice. Mike Judge's live-action Office Space might be worth a flyer if you're a Dilbertian Gen-Xer; Jawbreaker is a '90s Heathers with Rose MacGowan (the bust on the cover of March's Maxim) and Rebecca Gayheart (the Noxzema Girl, Dylan's wife on BH-niner) -- red-blooded male CP isn't going to steer you clear of that one. So take your rain check on October Sky, an earnest-and-true Field of Dreams that charts a coal miner's son's inspiring quest to become a NASA engineer. Stick with Costner's -- after all, spring training started this week. Stay out of trouble.