Bin Laden Tops the Charts on FBI's Hit Parade

Boy, the FBI sure knows how to hurt a fugitive’s feelings. The other perps on the Ten Most Wanted list can’t but feel diminished when the customary $50,000 reward is upped to $5 million for the new guy –- but then Osama Bin Laden is a bad guy of "Batman"-villain proportions. The alleged superterrorist was added to the FBI’s list Monday along with James Charles Kopp, the antiabortionist wanted in connection with the murder of Dr. Barnett Slepian, after two long-time listees –- the Libyan intelligence officers wanted for the Lockerbie bombing -– got their day in court. Bin Laden may look like the bank shot for aspiring young bounty hunters, but a word of caution –- he’s always surrounded by up to 50 heavily armed mujahideen warriors, and you also run the risk of being hit by a U.S. cruise missile if you move in to make an arrest. Better to try a more manageable quarry such as Eric Robert Rudolph, who at $1 million is the only other desperado on the list worth more than $50,000. The easy part is the feds think they know where Rudolph is. Then again, they’ve had a huge task force turning up every rock in the Nantahala National Forest for the past 16 months, and he’s still at large.

Despite his puny $50,000 reward, Kopp stands out for the most imaginative aliases: 29 of them in all, ranging from "Atomic Dog" to John Doe. John Doe?! They’ll never find a man of such diabolical imagination. The Most Wanted list also offers interesting insights into the sociology of crime. Alleged Mexican drug lord Ramon Eduardo Arellano-Felix’s occupation, for example, is listed as "policeman, rancher and physician." Must have been running the crime family on his golf day. And Harry Joseph Bowman, the international president of the Outlaws motorcycle gang wanted for alleged involvement in racketeering and murder, had better watch his back -- or more correctly, hope that nobody else is. According to the FBI, "he has a tattoo across his back with large black letters, ‘Outlaws Detroit.’ " A little like calling yourself John Doe.