Hey, Dude — Where's the Party?

If the city of Washington ever took a truth serum, it would probably concede to a touch of Hollywood envy. With a slew of annual awards nights, such as the Oscars, Grammys and Emmys — not to mention numerous film premieres — the nation's movie capital seems to be in permanent party mode. But once every four years the nation's capital gets to grab the party spotlight for the presidential inauguration. And as if to make up for the fact that its celebrations are few and far between, for that one week Washington goes into revelry overdrive — awash in alcohol, appetizers and tricolored party favors.

Those attending the coronation of George II will find a wide array of bashes competing for their attendance. There are, broadly speaking, three genres of party. First in importance — though not always the most fun — are the official inaugural balls on Saturday night, just hours after the new President takes the oath. Generally more lively are the plethora of parties thrown by organizations representing various states, which mainly take place on the two nights before the big day. The third strand of celebrations are those given by lobbyists and special-interest groups who use the opportunity to attempt some old-fashioned buttering-up of politicians.

Just the President and thousands of his closest friends...

The official balls are undoubtedly the hottest ticket. Though past inaugurations have seen as many as 11 or 12 simultaneous balls taking place throughout the town, George Bush has opted for a more modest eight bashes for his big night. Scattered throughout the Washington metropolis, the parties are divided up into geographical groupings based around the 50 states and dependencies, such as Guam. For instance, Republicans from Nevada and Oklahoma and 14 other states will chow down with colleagues from American Samoa and Montana in one hotel, while across town at the D.C. Armory, citizens of 16 Midwest states will mingle to the max. Interestingly, only one of the 54 groups is isolated in a building with no other states present. And that state is Florida, which has been placed in party solitary at the National Building Museum. Could this be First Brother Jeb's penance for his state's having caused the five-week delay in the party planning?

Despite the shortened lead time, the party planners claim to be in good shape, and several thousand of George W. Bush's closest personal acquaintances will shell out $125 and up for the pleasures of the night. According to the official press release, the goodies on offer will include hot and cold "heavy hors d'oeuvres" (not dinner, but enough to satisfy most appetites), "world class" entertainers (names not available at press time) and — wallets, please — a cash bar.

Of course, not everyone is going to shake the new president's hand — or even get a close glimpse of him — as he flits from ball to ball. In the same way as Hollywood premieres have a main room, an inner sanctum and an inner, inner sanctum, only the high bank-rollers are likely to be pressing the presidential flesh. Or those who may break a filibuster in the Senate.

Incidentally, a high roller at the Bush inauguration is one who has given up to the maximum of $100,000. That contrasts with the $100 cap that Bill Clinton put on individual donations for his 1996 inauguration. No wonder he was always chasing money (as well as other things) during his time in office.

From grits to glamour: The state of the state parties

Thursday and Friday night are taken up with parties thrown by individual state societies, which exist to bring together their expatriates living in the D.C. area. The organizations that host these parties are avowedly bipartisan — and the galas are open to those of all political persuasions — but it is usually, and quite understandably, the case that supporters of the party whose candidate lost the presidential election are less inclined to be celebratory mood.

Some of these events are designed to play up a state's strong points. For example, California is throwing a fashion-show-cum-lunch on Thursday at which impossibly slender models will parade clothes and movie costumes while honorary Hollywood mayor Johnny Grant looks on. That same evening, the Kentucky Society of Washington (this year's president: Charlie Grizzle) hosts its quadrennial Bluegrass Ball, which will feature a Henry Clay look-alike, copious amounts of bourbon and other Kentucky delicacies (which doesn't mean buckets of KFC). And on Friday night, more than 4,000 citizens of Illinois will gather to pay their respects to fellow Illinoisans, such as House Speaker Dennis Hastert and Clinton thorn-in-chief George Will.

Not every state society is hosting a full-blown party; some, such as Alaska, are hosting more modest cocktail receptions. But that doesn't seem to have dulled the enthusiasm. "This is an exciting time," said John Raffetto, president of the Alaska State Society, "because all three members of the congressional delegation are chairmen of powerful committees; and an oil-friendly Republican is entering the White House." Raffetto promised that they would be offering "lots of great stuff from Alaska, such as smoked salmon, Alaska-brewed beer and dog mushers." I'm not sure what a dog musher is, but I did discover that the reception was being sponsored by Alaska's largest oil pipeline company.

Another state with a small but interesting party is New Hampshire. The state society will be serving up appetizers based on New Hampshire seafood to a cross-section of state politicos such as U.S. Senator Bob Smith, ex-governor John Sununu and, possibly, Bush chief of staff Andy Card (who is from just across the border in Massachusetts). And given New Hampshire's importance in presidential primaries, how better to schmooze the Granite State political machinery than by paying homage over a lobster crepe in a hotel just two blocks from the White House?

The hottest ticket of the many state parties is undoubtedly Friday night's Texas state celebration. In fact it's so hot that it has now been upgraded into an official ball entitled "The Black Tie 'N' Boots Inaugural Ball" and will merit a visit from the President-elect. Nothing could do more justice to this event than quoting from the official news release, which informs us that this will be "the only inaugural ball to feature a Texas Longhorn steer. The only inaugural ball where guests can have their picture made with a 2,500-pound Brahmin bull. The only inaugural ball where guests can have their picture made sitting in the cockpit of a fighter jet." The caterers estimate that they will serve "7,000 pounds of Texas brisket, 6,000 pounds of smoked ham, 60,000 pieces of jumbo shrimp and 1,200 pounds of peach cobbler." The entertainment will be from top Texan country-music stars. The tone in Washington is certainly about to change...

And then there are the alternative parties...

Though Saturday night's official balls are where the main action is, several other events will compete for attention during the evening. One of the most keenly anticipated bashes is the fourth Environmental Inaugural Ball. Started in 1989 for George Bush Sr.'s inauguration, this popular party hosted by an across-the-board group of politicians and environmental groups did very well during the two Clinton inaugurals and has always attracted Cabinet secretaries and members of Congress. A list of who attends this year may be a bellwether of how seriously the Bush administration intends to deal with environmental matters. Organizers are hoping to install a rain forest exhibit at the party, but nothing that a couple of experienced oilmen couldn't clear away swiftly.

But the hottest unofficial party is without doubt the late-night Saturday gala being thrown by The Creative Coalition. Astutely timed to attract D.C. movers and shakers as they leave the official balls, this carefully bipartisan bash — organized by the organization that channels the social and political energies of entertainers on issues such as the First Amendment — boasts celebrities ranging from Tom Arnold, Billy Baldwin and Ron Reagan Jr. to Juliette Lewis and Bo Derek. Hosts for the evening include Senators John Breaux and Arlen Specter, a political odd couple who underscore the mood of those who are calling for an end to partisan sniping. With its Hollywood glow, this party resembles Oscar night's Miramax bash — the hip happening everyone wants to end the evening at.

After all the partying, most of Washington will wake up on Sunday morning with a massive hangover. So maybe it's fortunate that our new president has sworn off the grape and grain, and should thus be in good shape to kick off the new administration.