Dry (2004)
"I was touring for the paperback of Dry. And I was in an airport bookstore, looking for something to read on the plane. I noticed that the store had only one copy of Dry on the table, and I thought, that's probably a good sign. And as I was standing there, a woman picked up the book, looked it over, and brought it up to the clerk. She said, "Excuse me, do you have another copy of this book? This one looks like it got all wet." The clerk said, "No I'm sorry. All of them were wet like that." So the woman PUT THE BOOK BACK and left the store, frowning. I felt so smug and satisfied."

• The Art of the Family Dog