Interview with the First Lady

(6 of 7)

Do you ever disagree with the President about anything? I mean, policy-wise? And how do you handle that? I mean, if he's doing something, do you think, Ah, maybe not, or ... is there any ...
Yes, I'm sure I do what every spouse does. We'll have conversations, and we'll share our opinions over the course of the conversation. But I don't want to have a say. Really, there are a lot of times when I'm like, Don't tell me what happened today at work. I just don't want to hear it, because I want the home space to really be free of that.

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There's plenty of time, through my staff ... the beauty of, I think, the way the East and the West Wing are working here is that I've got a great professional staff. I think I've hired some of the best people, and they're real workers out there. My policy director is top-notch. My communications team is top-notch. My chief of staff is solid. And they have roles in the West Wing. They're engaged in the meetings. And I think that that's the best way to make sure that the East and the West Wing are working together and we don't ... that's not a part ... that's not a part of our life on a day-to-day basis. This is the work side of my life.

That really comes through when you talk about work-life balance, that you know whereof you speak on that. But what I wondered, as I listened to you the other day talking about we need to discuss what happens when a child is sick and you don't have paid sick leave or need to discuss on-site child care and things, it seems like we have been discussing those. The point is now, how do you take shining the light you're shining on an issue like that? What then happens? Because that's sort of about law and money and very concrete things, as opposed to symbolic, if you plant a kitchen garden, you may send a really great message about eating habits. How does the policy side of it and the concrete side of your agenda work?
Well, I think that's where the relationship between the East and the West Wing matters. One of the things that I've tried to do, my team, as we've thought about issues ... and the issues that I've selected are important to me personally, which is the start ... I mean, it has to come from a real true place, an experience that I can connect to. It's got to be organic to me, something that I understand just in my daily life. I've tried to build my career like that, just choosing things that I really care about. So it starts there.

But it also is important that these are issues that are going to potentially have some kind of traction with the West Wing, because it is true, it's ... shining the light is the first and oftentimes a very important step, but then the question ... now the policy piece, which belongs in the West Wing, needs to follow.

So these are issues that are not just important to me, but they're important to my husband and they're important to the West Wing. And then we look to them and say, O.K., we've got the kitchen garden planted and we're talking about these issues, so what's next? And the next comes from the West Wing. But we don't take it on if we don't know that there's some meat there, if that makes sense.

What do you miss of your old life before the campaign, before you were such a public person?
You know, I'm ... well, O.K., so which before?

Whatever stage. [Laughter.]
It's like early "before," it was like two years of campaigning. So that doesn't seem ... so there's that "before." And then there's before any of this.

The real "before."

Yes, before any of this, is what I'm asking.
The real "before." It's a lot easier to live your life when everything you do doesn't have a consequence.

A global consequence. [Laughter.]
Right. Or talked about, or, you know. I mean, that's sort of like, Oh, gosh, they're talking about that? That's the ... you know, it's the anonymity of just living your life and making choices and decisions, and moving through the world without sort of constant commentary. That was nice. [Laughter.]

If you had known, would you have worn a different dress to the congressional speech?
Oh, no. That was a beautiful dress.

It was a beautiful dress.
Right.

And you got how long of ... about arms.
No, well, that's part of the process. But does that change what I do, who I am? No. The one thing that I said in one of the interviews, which is one of my personal philosophies and it didn't come from this experience, it just came over life, is that in life you've got to make choices that make sense for you, because there's always going to be somebody who'll think you should do something differently.

So you might as well start with what you like and what you care about, what your passions are, what makes sense. That's my message to women, if anything, over the course of this, is, find your space. Find your spot. Wear what you love. Choose the careers that may have meaning to you, because there's always somebody who will say, "I wouldn't have worn that color, or why didn't you work at that job."

But if you're comfortable in the choice and it resonates with you, then all that other stuff ... it's just conversation. People have the right to have conversations. But I think that's one thing we as women sometimes do; we don't make choices that have meaning to us. And then when those things fall apart, you have to have yourself to fall back on. You have to own the choices that you make, and hopefully they're yours to begin with.

See pictures of Michelle Obama's fashion diplomacy.

See pictures of Michelle Obama meeting Hillary Clinton.