Sunday, Jul. 02, 2006

The Best and Worst Of England

Wow, who knew that England could play like Brazil? But honestly, you've gone far enough, England. It's amazing that this side advanced as far as it did, what with Sven Goran Erikkson getting maximum mediocrity out of them. Just what does this man do on the sidelines when he's sitting there mute? He has made England as exciting as Scandinavian furniture.

I used to think that England was a group of overachievers, failing ever upwards. I apologize. Its central defense is watertight and talented. And England possesses in Steven Garrard and Frank Lampard a couple of proven match winners, yet managed to keep their considerable skills quiet. The only shot Lampard got on net against Portugal was his saved penalty kick. Garrard, who usually roams the pitch like a highwayman searching for plunder, looked like he was on a leash.

True England does not have a solid striking pair like Germany, even when Wayne Rooney manages to stay on the pitch (Wayno needs to try whatever Sven's smoking,) And certainly losing Michael Owen was huge, thus forcing Sven to either clog the midfield with 5 players or bring in Peter Crouch, a goal post with feet. Still, England needs another striker, desperately. Who doesn't?

As usual, England makes an opponent use every ounce of energy it has to get a result. Portugal looks finished. So here's to you, England for another maximum effort, undermined by yet another minimum leader. How do you manage to find so many?