Dec. 8,
2006 The Blood Diamond Debate
The movie Blood Diamond raises many questions about diamond rings. But should women want one in the first place? TIME held a debate on why women desired a diamond ring in the first place. We asked for your thoughts and here's what you had to say:

I have enjoyed my diamond engagement ring for 50 years and take pride in
wearing it as a symbol of the love my husband felt for me when he made that
investment. It is regrettable that diamonds have been used to support war lords but so has oil and we haven't decided to stop using it!
Catherine B. Wagner
Bonita Springs, FL
Whether or not to own a diamond or accept one for an engagement is a very
personal decision and each person has their own reasons. What really
upsets me, however, is the fact that a woman is expected to wear a ring that
symbolizes she is "off the market." However, for men, there is no ring
until they actually say the vows. I think it is grossly
unfair that men are not expected to proclaim their engagement for all to see.
It's as if women, upon receiving an engagement ring, are transformed into
submissive doting partners while the man is not held up to those
expectations for months or sometimes years later.
Angela Mrozinski
Grand Rapids, MI
My boyfriend got me a
heart-shaped amethyst for my right hand. Not
once has someone tried to tell me my boyfriend's commitment to me will not
last as long as someone else's simply because the stone in my ring isn't a
colorless one. And you can bet it sparkles just as well as any diamond does. If he'd gotten me a diamond, we wouldn't have a
50" Plasma HDTV in our living room right now!
Kim
Jacksonville, FL
Even if a diamond has been mined ethically, purchasing it will increase
demand, which perpetuates the illicit trade. Americans dislike the OPEC cartel which controls oil prices,
but unknowingly support the diamond cartel every time they buy a diamond.
The prices of diamonds are artificially high due to held-back supply. Even
with only a small fraction of diamonds released to the market, how can
consumers still think diamonds are rare, given that every jewelry store in
America is chock full of them?
Judy A. Vosburgh
Atascadero, CA
The only way to end blood diamonds is for the African people themselves to
be able to control their diamonds, their governments and all their valuable
resources.
Sita
Philadelphia, PA
When my husband and I decided to get married, I told him not to buy me a
diamond because we could use that money to put a down-payment on a house.
We've been married 5 years and I don't regret that decision for a second.
We both wear my parents' original wedding bands and I love them...very
sentimental.
Paige
Charlotte, NC
I happen to have a couple thousand dollars worth of ring on my finger.
This, however, was not my idea. It was my fiancé's. It was when my mom showed him my great-grandmother's
platinum-diamond-filigree engagement ring that he was hooked. After the
proposal he described (with tears in his eyes) his frantic search for the
perfect ring and how he just knew as soon as he saw it that, no matter what
the cost, it had to be mine.
For us, it's perfect. And it's something we can hand down to our children.
For other couples, maybe not. And don't think he doesn't get anything in return, either. I cook the man
dinner every night!!
Amanda Marcotte
Alma, MI
It's OK for a woman to want a diamond, but it's the sense of entitlement
that I perceive from many women that I find troubling. I want a place on the beach in Hawaii but I'm not so
self-centered as to expect my partner to produce one for me or the deal is
off! Also, the one-sided aspect of engagement rings makes absolutely no sense
to me. People need to stop being led around by the nose by suggestive
advertising of any type.
Kevin McDaniels
Santa Barbara, CA
In today's
economy, with people being in debt up the wazoo, I can think of more
practical ways for a young couple just starting out to utilize the money
that would ordinarily be spent on a diamond. Like a down payment on a house
perhaps? Or the expense of starting a family. As for the myth that the size
of the diamond and the amount of money a man spends on it is somehow linked
to how much affection he has for his betrothed, just go to a battered
women's shelter and ask some of the domestic violence victims how big their
diamond rings were. The tradition of ring giving has been totally been blown
out of proportion.
Bob Schroeder
Trenton, NJ
I have told my daughters and nieces to make their own money, so that they
can buy their own jewelry. This way they can marry for love and not money.
Mary Ford
Mill Creek, WA
Personally, I plan to buy two huge diamond crescent accent stones for a
birthstone ring that I've been meaning to have restyled for years. I love
the sparkle of diamonds, they take my breath away. It does concern me that some diamonds are on the market through the death
and suffering of others. For that reason, I'll be mindful to inquire about
the Kimberly Process when I purchase mine.
Would I want the love of my life to give me at least 2 carats? Absolutely.
But at 44 years old and never married, if I sat around waiting for prince
charming to get that diamond for me, I'd be forever deprived.
M.R.B.
Atlanta, GA
Men know the game. If you want a relationship with a woman you have to
transfer wealth to her. Whether it's paying for dinner, buying a diamond,
taking the vacation, whatever. It's so damn silly that someone else must supply a woman's sense of
self-worth. If you want a diamond, dear girl, fill your head with thoughts
of how to earn the money, not how to attract someone who will buy it for
you.
Stan Pickens
Lake Mary, FL
I have never wanted a diamond ring. I am very practical and it does not suit
my lifestyle. Before I got married I told my then fiancé that I would prefer a really nice juicer -- the type that grinds up
carrots. I figured the carrots were healthier for me in a glass than carets
encased in glass. Thirteen years later, I am still happy with my choice,
and getting plenty of vitamin A.
Susan Schiro
Rockland, ME
Diamonds and huge, expensive weddings. When will the young girls of this
country realize that marriage is not about how big, ostentatious and expensive the
entrapments are? The wedding industry is making millions of dollars by duping young
girls into thinking the wedding itself is the most important part of the
marriage. Wake up girls, it is not about the diamond or the dress, it's about love and
commitment.
Linda Huetson
LaGrange, IL
The diamond engagement ring is symbolic of the sacrifice the future husband will be making for the
future bride in their life together. I'm quite old-fashioned, I know, but
my personal view is that the marriage relationship reflects Jesus Christ's
relationship to His bride, the Church, and the ultimate sacrifice of His
death to save His bride. In the marriage relationship, the husband steps
into similar shoes for his bride, and lives sacrificially for her.
Sacrificing funds for an adornment for her is one way to depict that future
life together. Perhaps superficial, but a nice tradition as well.
Brad
Ruston, LA
The demand for diamonds is driven by one of the most successful, and
longest-running marketing campaigns ever. Diamonds are not really "worth"
full retail price, at least not in the usual market-driven sense. Buy a used diamond and save money.
Mark Hudson
Los Angeles
I was educated on the topic when I was about 23 by a woman who
could've afforded to wear whatever she wanted, but chose not to. After she explained to me her reasons -- who was profiting in the
industry and who was not, and where to money was going -- I could no longer
wear diamonds. I no longer see diamonds as desirable, and look upon people who wear them
the same way I do people who wear fur. It never ceases to amaze me
how people feign compassion while continuing to covet those large sparkly
gems, yet go out of their way to let everyone know that the fur trim on their sweater
is "only faux". The inhumanity of animal treatment is somehow greater than
that of humans? If even a fraction of a percent of the money makes into the
hands of warlords, who exchange it for instruments of homicide, isn't it worth
it to make sure that we are not personally contributing?
Mary Martinez
Minneapolis, MN
I would never buy a diamond and have never wanted one. The first reason
being that they have caused so much grief and misery in the countries where
they are mined. Second because every one has one. They are not special, they
are common and I am not a common woman. I do not need an overly expensive
rock to make me feel special, loved or beautiful.
Tara Beal
Homer, OH
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