Life In Hell: A Baghdad Diary
In more than 20 trips to the ravaged city, TIME's Aparisim Ghosh has navigated countless perils. His extraordinary story offers a rare insight into the daily life of Iraqi citizens

Photo Essay: Journey Into Baghdad
Iraq's dangerous streets seen through the lens of Franco Pagetti

When Hate Lives Next Door
With Iraq on the edge of civil war, TIME looks at how the violence is putting families on the run

Looking for Mr. Right


Maliki's Last Stand?
The prime minister makes a new call to curb violence, but Iraqis' patience with him and his government is wearing thin

What a Surge Really Means
Can a couple more divisions in Iraq make a difference? Or is Bush's idea too little, too late?

Where Does Negroponte Leave Intelligence?


August 7, 2006
Life in Hell: A Baghdad Diary
SAMANTHA APPLETON / AURORA PHOTOS
Iraqi police and members of the non-governmental Badr Organization guard some gas stations throughout the south of Iraq
In more than 20 trips to Baghdad, TIME's Aparisim Ghosh has navigated countless perils - from deadly highways to dangerously misguided politicians. His extraordinary story offers a rare insight into the daily life of Iraqis. Do you have questions about what it's like on the ground today in Iraq? Submit them here, and be sure to check back for selected answers later this week.

What is the feeling of the Iraqis regarding their current situation of civil strife versus their past situation of oppression under Saddam? Do they yearn for the old days of stability, albeit under a heavy hand, or are they happy to be rid of a vicious dictator despite the chaos?
Andrew
Denver, CO

BOBBY GHOSH: That depends on who you ask — and where. The Kurds in the north and would likely say their lives have become better. In the rest of the country, it's fair to say that the majority of people are glad that Saddam was toppled, but that's not the same thing as saying their lives are better. In Baghdad and its environs, where much of the violence is concentrated, everyday life has got much, much worse. Of course, people appreciate that they now have many freedoms they didn't have under Saddam — but it's hard to enjoy those freedoms when life itself is under threat at all times. So naturally, some people are bound to look back at the Saddam era with some degree of nostalgia.

The period between the two Gulf wars was marked by oppression (by Saddam) and deprivation (due to the U.N.-imposed economic sanctions). Iraqis lived in fear and want, and without freedom. Now they have freedom: but the fear and want have, for most part, deepened.

Has the danger in Baghdad become 'normal' to you? When you go safer countries do you find yourself looking over your shoulder?
Renee Ostrowski
Cetnennial, CO

BOBBY GHOSH: War correspondents like to think that we can adjust to "normal" life without any difficulty, as if there's some button we can press as soon as we touch down in a non-war zone. But, hand to my heart, I carry some of Baghdad with me wherever I go. It shows up in little things. For instance, I seem to have lost the ability to linger over a cup of coffee or a meal at a restaurant — I tend to eat or drink very quickly and then want to leave the place asap. I suspect this comes from my Baghdad conditioning: in Iraq, nobody hangs around a restaurant or teahouse a second longer than they absolutely have to, because these places are a favorite target for bombers.

As you might expect, I react differently from "normal" people when there's a loud bang anywhere — a car engine backfiring can sound awful lot like a bomb.

There are lots of other examples. Suffice it to say that one day, men in white suits will have to come and take me away!

Given the obvious and extreme dangers, my question is obvious: Why do you remain in that city? I am sure that TIME would not fire you if you refused the assignment. I know it is your job and it is a chance to report from the front lines of the major story of the decade, but can risking your life on a daily basis be worth such professional rewards?
Matt Rothman
Seattle, WA

BOBBY GHOSH: The short answer is that all war correspondents are a certain kind of crazy. Beyond that, there are a number of reasons. As you point out, there's the opportunity to tell the most important story of our times — one that will have a lasting impact on the rest of the world. There's also a kind of curiosity that comes from covering a story from the start: you want to see how it turns out, even when you know it's likely to be terrible. But these days, the main reason I keep coming back to Baghdad is out of a sense of solidarity for my Iraqi colleagues. Whenever I leave for r'n'r, I feel guilty that I can get away from the horrors of Baghdad — my Iraqi colleagues, many of whom have large families, don't have that luxury. So there's a sense of 'survivor guilt' that I feel when I'm away from Iraq. I know that my returning to Baghdad won't make my colleagues' lives any safer or better, but I feel I need to be here, in the trenches with them.

How are the Iraqi women being treated?
Carolyn Altman
Avon Lake, OH

BOBBY GHOSH: Iraqi women have long had greater freedom than almost anywhere else in the Middle East: women have jobs, enjoy unlimited educational opportunities, occupy high public office and travel unveiled. It is one of the many ironies of post-war Iraq that women have become less free than before. There's nothing in the new Iraqi constitution that prevents them from enjoying the usual freedoms, but the realities on the ground have changed. Iraqi politics is now dominated by Islamicist parties — Shi'ite and Sunni. And many neighborhoods are controlled by religious militias or jihadi groups. Some of them openly demand that women confine themselves to their homes. Even where there are no such "rules", many women say they feel safer staying indoors, or wearing the veil and abaya when they step out. There are still plenty of women in government offices, but in the streets I now see more and more abayas and veils than I did before the war.

I looked without success for a dateline that would tell me when this happened. The only reference was to the Israel Hizbullah war taking place at the same time. Was it a complilation of different trips?
Gene Cassidy
Framingham, MA

BOBBY GHOSH: The story was reported in Baghdad from July 1 to August 1, but it was informed by my experiences in Baghdad over the past three-and-a-half years.

Have you ever witnessed any violence while touring the country or on the countryside?
Winston J. Revond
Miami, Florida

BOBBY GHOSH: Alas, yes. There's so much violence in Iraq, there's no way to insulate yourself from it. Staying indoors is no guarantee: twice suicide bombers have struck so close to the TIME house that all of our windows were smashed and doors taken off their hinges. We've had a rocket land on a neighbor's roof (luckily, it was a dud). Traveling through Baghdad and the countryside, I've seen gun battles, massive explosions, IEDs — more violence than I care to remember.

Can you please tell me what do the Iraqi people really want from the U.S.? I mean haven't we done enough for them!
Laurie Izzo
Weyauwega, WI

BOBBY GHOSH: To paraphrase what Colin Powell said before the war: If you break it, you must fix it. Iraqis feel the U.S. must live up to its promise of bringing freedom and peace to this country. From the Iraqi perspective, only half of that promise has been fulfilled: there's freedom, but no peace. Of course, many Iraqis — especially the insurgents and terrorists — would like to see the U.S. withdraw its troops right now.

My husband is a diplomat and has chosen Iraq as his next post. He reassures he will be safe, but I would like to know how safe he will actually be and what the security situation for diplomats really entails.
Erin
London, U.K.

BOBBY GHOSH: It depends on where, exactly, he is posted. Kurdistan, for instance, is pretty safe. If he's going to be in Baghdad's Green Zone, and if his job doesn't require him to travel beyond its blast walls, then he will be relatively safe. The occasional mortar shell or rocket lands inside the Green Zone, but it's rare that anybody is killed. Outside the Green Zone, there is no safe area in Baghdad. Diplomats travel with more security than journalists, but no convoy and no armored car is entirely safe. After all, insurgents have learned to make roadside bombs that can take out an Abrams tank.

Where do insurgents get their armaments? Is there no way to destroy their supplies so they could not make bombs?
Jack Derr
Live Oak, Fl.

BOBBY GHOSH: Most of the bomb-making material is readily available in Iraq. Remember, Saddam has one of the world's largest stockpiled of conventional weapons. Before the war, he distributed these widely across the country, in thousands of small caches. Many of them are secret — nobody knows where they are except the soldiers who hid them. Now, many insurgents are former soldiers, and they know where to find those hidden caches. This is a big country, much of it desert, so it's impossible to track down and destroy every trove of weapons and ammunition.

In addition, insurgent and terrorist groups get weapons and technology from their supporters in neighboring countries — notably Syria and Iran.

In Baghdad, many of the most deadly 'bombs' are jerry-rigged from otherwise harmless things like cooking-gas cylinders and common fertilizer.

Is [Al-Qaeda No. 2, Ayman] Al-Zawahiri right when he says the Americans are about to flee Iraq?
Manjit Singh Grewal
Ludhiana, India

BOBBY GHOSH: I wouldn't characterize it quite like that, but if you follow what's being said in Washington it's pretty clear that the Bush Administration is very keen at least to drastically reduce the U.S. military presence in Iraq.

Who do you think benefited the most from the war in Iraq? Is it Iran?
Avi Oz
San Diego, CA

BOBBY GHOSH: If you mean the Iranian regime (as opposed to Iranian people), then yes, it is easy to see how the chaos in Iraq serves the short-term interests of Tehran. But in the longer term, continued civil war in Iraq will hurt all of its neighbors, including Iran. Fomenting violence in a neighboring country is never a good idea — it usually creates an uncontrollable Frankenstein's monster that turns around and attacks its creator. Look at Pakistan's experience with Afghanistan, for instance.

Is dividing the country on the forefront of people's minds as a solution to sectarian problems? Or, does the average Iraqi wish the country to remain united?
Peter A. Holden
Rutherford, NJ

BOBBY GHOSH: Outside of Kurdistan, most Iraqis — Shi'ite and Sunni alike — are opposed to dividing the country. This is based not only on a fierce sense of nationhood, it also comes from the certain knowledge that any division would be incredibly violent and bloody. Many would favor a federal system that gives greater autonomy to the provinces (as Spain does to Catalunya and Galicia, for example) but balk at an outright partition.

There are some people who would like a partition along sectarian lines. Maps of a partitioned Iraq have been published in Shi'ite and Sunni websites. But this is still the minority view. If the civil war continues, that could change.

Since the majority of the Iraqi population is Shi'ite, is there any thought amongst common people of alignment/integration with Iran, which is also a Shi'ite-majority state?
Ravi Thota
Dubai

BOBBY GHOSH: I've never heard an Iraqi Shi'ite advocate integration with Iran. While they may share a common religion, Iraqi and Iranian Shi'ites are separated by ethnicity (most Iraqis are Arabs; Iranians are Persians) and culture. Many Iraqi Shi'ites are deeply suspicious of Iran's ruling Ayatollahs and would not countenance such a system being imposed in Baghdad. You have to remember that during the 8-year Iran-Iraq war, the majority of Iraq's army comprised Iraqi Shi'ites — tens of thousands of them died or suffered injuries fighting against Iran.

Why do the Shi'ite and Sunni hate each other? What is the history behind their conflict?
John Snyder
Swansboro, N.C.

BOBBY GHOSH: The history of Shi'ite-Sunni animosity is long and complicated. You might want to read a couple of books on the history of Islam — I recccommend anything by Bernard Lewis and Karen Armstrong. But in the Iraqi context, it is important to know that the civil war is not just about faith. The reasons for the hatred are as much political, economic and social as they are religious. For centuries the Shi'ite majority of Iraq have been ruled by the minority Sunnis; the Shi'ites have been denied power and economic opportunities, and they have been reduced to a low social status.

Democracy has given the Shi'ites power for the first time — and they are fighting to keep it. Democracy has also taken power away from the Sunnis, and they are fighting to get it back.

I just met a handful of Iraqis on holiday in Amman. Their fear and resignation was evident and even while they tried to appear strong, it was obvious that they truly believed that their return to Baghdad in the impending days could very well sign their death certificates. Suddenly, phrases like "take care" and "I'm sorry for everything that has happened" seemed to amount to nothing more than hollow pleasantries. Is there anything we can do from here to try to help?
Tiffany
Milwaukee, WI

BOBBY GHOSH: Yes: Pray.

How do the average Iraqis (Sunni, Shia, and Kurd) see the average American? Do the Iraqis feel we'll be there forever? How do they decipher the Bush-speak, "When they stand up, we'll stand down".
Sean Bridges
Austin, TX

BOBBY GHOSH: Most Iraqis I meet are able to distinguish between Americans and the U.S. government.

Those who are opposed to the presence of U.S. troops here say they have nothing against ordinary Americans. Even commanders of insurgent groups — people who are dedicated to killing U.S. soldiers — say their beef is not with Americans, it is with the "occupation" of their country by foreigners. Once the soldiers leave, they say, ordinary Americans will be welcome in Iraq — as tourists, investors, friends.

But equally, those who support the U.S. military presence (the Kurds, for instance) are often contemptuous of Americans who oppose the war. They see images of anti-war demos in New York, and they this the demonstrators are either blithering idiots, or Saddam sympathizers.

Will the U.S. troops stay or go? Iraqi opinion is evenly divided between those who think the Americans are desperate to get the hell out of here, and those who believe the U.S. has a secret plan to maintain giant military bases in Iraq for all eternity.

As a budding journalist of African heritage, what risk abound for one to be black in Baghdad?
Segunfunmi Sunday Ogunleye
Lagos, Nigeria

BOBBY GHOSH: Anybody who looks obviously like a foreigner is at risk in Baghdad. I'm Indian, and am often mistaken for an Arab. When I'm in a public place, nobody notices me because I blend into the crowd. But if I were Nigerian, I'd stick out — and that would be dangerous. There is great journalism to be done in Iraq; but you should know that there is also great danger.

How do you get food to eat? How many Americans can speak the language or do you all need interpreters?
Brian Bulat
La Vista, NE

BOBBY GHOSH: There's no shortage of food in Iraq, thank goodness. This is, after all, the land of two rivers, so crops (wheat, rice, fruits, vegetables, etc.) are plentiful. But the quality of local produce isn't great — I never knew tomatoes could be brown! — and that's largely due to the damage done to the agricultural sector by Saddam Hussein. In the 80s and 90s, his regime systematically destroyed agricultural canals that had existed since the time of Nebuchadnezzar. Millions of people emigrated from the country to the city, depleting the pool of farming skills.

As for the language, it's safe to say that the vast majority of Americans here (in the embassy or the military) don't speak Arabic. They use translators — Iraqis and Arabs from neighboring countries. Local people are reluctant to work as translators for the Americans, because it marks them as collaborators; dozens have been killed by insurgents and jihadis for this "crime."

Most journalists also use translators. I can read and write Arabic, but my vocabulary isn't deep enough to conduct interviews.

I've been offered a position in Baghdad in an area called Mansour. You haven't mentioned it in your article as a dangerous area, so shall I assume it's a "safer" area than the others? Do you have an insight about the security situation in this area?
Khaled
Cairo, Egypt

BOBBY GHOSH: Mansour was once Baghdad's most upscale neighborhood, full of palatial homes and the residences of foreign ambassadors. There were lots of nice shops and restaurants. Alas, in recent months, it has become a highly dangerous place. Criminal gangs operate there with impunity, kidnapping people for ransom. Almost daily there are gun battles in the streets. Even Iraqis find it dangerous. One of my Iraqi colleagues used to take English-language classes at an institute in Mansour; recently, he gave up the course because it was too risky to go there.

What about everyday things like groceries, libraries, coffee shops, religious services-weddings, funerals?
Nancy
Gainesville, GA

BOBBY GHOSH: There are far too many funerals in Baghdad these days, but there is no sanctity even for the dead. Last week, a funeral was bombed, killing 14 people. Funeral processions have also been attacked.

There are weddings, of course — young people still want to get married. But these days, the ceremonies tend to be low-key affairs, and quite rushed. That's because an elaborate wedding may advertise the wealth of the families concerned — and make them targets for kidnapping.

Iraqis still go grocery shopping, but markets have become a favored target of suicide bombers.

I don't know any libraries that are still open, but coffee shops and tea houses continue to do business. Iraqis need someplace to go where they can discuss politics!

What seems to be a big issue, is suicide bombings. We just don't comprehend that you can go to the market and a bomb goes off? Why? What good comes out of those?
Pat Murphy
Quincy, MA

BOBBY GHOSH: Suicide bombers are a big part of the problem in Iraq. Understanding what motivates them is quite a challenge. You might want to read my story, "Inside the Mind of a Suicide Bomber" for some idea of why these people do what they do.

Could the situation improve by our arresting the worst of the divisive elements such as Muqtada al-Sadr, Aziz al-Hakim and their principal lieutenants; installing a governing junta composed of Ali al-Sistani and a respected counterpart from the other sect who might be willing to share power and collaborate with al-Sistani as well as a Kurdish leader, and have them give directives to be implemented by a group of tribal chiefs under their patronage and command?
Werner Voigt
Miami, FL

BOBBY GHOSH: Al-Sadr and Hakim are hugely popular Iraqi politicians (and quasi-religious figures) and arresting them would hardly be good for the stability of this country. As for installing in junta - well, consider the history of juntas around the world, and you will come to the conclusion that they never work.

1) Do you feel the Americans should just leave Iraq now and let a civil war ensue and be done with?

2) Would putting Saddam back in power be the only way to get a statesman strong enough to control this terrible sectarian violence?
Michael Jaffe
La Jolla, California

BOBBY GHOSH: 1) I don't think the U.S. can turn its back on its responsibilities in Iraq. A country that prides itself on its moral values cannot simply walk away from a situation when it knows that a bloodbath will ensue. Having contributed in some part to this mess, it is incumbent on the U.S. to help clean it up. Solving Iraq's problems will require statesmanlike behavior, not only in Baghdad but also in Washington.

2) Saddam is yesterday's man. Few Iraqis have any regard for him any more. In the course of his televised trial, he has become something of a joke. And in any case, who would even consider handing this country back to him? It's unthinkable.

How do Iraqi citizens distinguish who is a Sunni and who is a Shi'ite? Are there certain behaviors, languages, styles of clothing that one would have to avoid in order to conceal their religious identity?
Peter Behrens
Bloomfield, NJ

BOBBY GHOSH: Telling a Shi'ite from a Sunni is difficult, often impossible. Most Iraqis come from the same ethnic group — Arabs. (The Kurds are a different group, but they are not currently involved in the civil war.) They look alike, they speak the same language and share the same cuisine. Most of them even dress alike; Iraqis, especially in the cities, tend to wear Western clothes, anyway.

But they do go to different places of worship — there are Sunni mosques and Shi'ite mosques (also known as "Husseiniyahs"). The posture they adopt while praying is slightly different.

Some names are giveaways. For instance, "Omar" can only be a Sunni — it comes from one of the early Caliphs who is to this day detested by the Shi'ites. No Shi'ite would name their son "Omar." Likewise, no Sunni would name their son "Abdel Mahdi" — that is a Shi'ite-only name. There are a handful of other names that are only used by one side. But the majority of Iraqis (I would guess at least 70%) have names that are sect-neutral.

There are other subtle differences, but it's not an exact science, and I have heard many stories of people being killed because of mistaken identity.

Is the improvement in schools or whatever else is cited as positive impact on Iraqi populace by American forces too small to be measured and/or to be considered effective?
Vilma Pallette
San Jose, CA

BOBBY GHOSH: Yes, I'm afraid the improvement in schools is not enough to significantly affect people's lives. Don't get me wrong: Iraqis are glad their kids can now go to schools where they are not brain-washed into worshipping Saddam Hussein. And they are happy to see American soldiers build new schools. But the security situation is so bad, it negates everything else. It's hard for Iraqis to be grateful for the improved school system when they have to worry that their children may be killed or kidnapped on their way to or from school.

1) What is the takeoff out of Baghdad like & 2) Have you spent any time in the Kurdish northern Iraq?
Rob
Indianapolis, IN

BOBBY GHOSH: 1) The take-off is as scary as the landing — a steep, spiraling climb to 30,000 feet. But it doesn't feel too bad, because you know you're on your way out of hell.

2) Yes, I've spent time in Iraqi Kurdistan. It's completely different from Baghdad. There's no civil war, no car bombs or suicide bombers. In my article, I mention that there's an economic boom in the north. But then, Iraqi Kurdistan has been different ever since 1991, when it was protected by the U.S. from Saddam's regime.

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