2000 Ford Excursion

GM had its H2. Ford had the Excursion, a Mount Rushmore-sized SUV based on the company's Super Duty truck platform. Dubbed the Ford "Valdez" by the Sierra Club, the Excursion was a passenger vehicle of gob-smacking proportions. It weighed 7,000 lbs, measured almost 19 ft. long and stood 6.5 ft. tall. At the time, Ford argued that many of its customers — ranchers, farmers, um, tugboat enthusiasts — needed a vehicle this big with over 10,000-lb. towing capacity. Maybe that was true, but that didn't keep Suzy Homemakers from driving them to the mall. To its dubious credit, the Excursion pioneered the use of the blocker bar, a kind of under-vehicle roll bar designed to keep the Excursion from rolling over anything unfortunate enough to be hit by it. The Simpsons wrote the Excursion's cultural obituary in the episode where Marge buys the "Canyonero." "Can you name the truck with four wheel drive, smells like a steak and seats thirty-five...Canyoner-oooo!"