Britney Spears

Gimme More

You can tell this comeback performance was rushed into existence because Britney barely had time to practice lip-synching. Besides making no effort to sing — let alone move her mouth along with the very average, Paula Abdul-ish track — her dancing consisted of walking very slowly and her wardrobe was a boring old rhinestone bikini that appeared to be lifted from a Spearmint Rhino gift shop. A return to pop relevance was a long shot, but you'd think she'd at least take a stab at a second act as a Cher-like objet d'camp. Meanwhile, MTV showed its gratitude to Britney for hustling back from drug addiction by bringing out Sarah Silverman immediately afterwards, placing her over the barrel of fish and handing her an elephant gun: "Britney's amazing. She is 25 years old and she's already accomplished everything she's going to accomplish in her life."

— by Josh Tyrangiel