The 2009 TIME 100

In our annual TIME 100 issue, we do the impossible: name the people who most affect our world

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Joel Stein Ranks the TIME 100

L. to R.: George Clooney, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, President of the French Republic Nicholas Sarkozy

L. to R.: Mario Anzuoni / Reuters / Corbis; TIM SLOAN / AFP / Getty; Christophe Ena / Reuters
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31. Nandan Nilekani: Thanks to Infosys, I get to have long conversations about politics, culture and food with people in India every time I have an IT problem. Hope that's not costing you too much, Nandan.

32. Tessa Ross: You took up exactly 120 minutes of my time when I watched the movie you produced, Slumdog Millionaire. And then zero minutes of my thinking time after. So you influenced me for two hours.

33. A.R. Rahman: You did the music for Slumdog, which took up even less of my brain. Though I learned that if you twist on the ball of one foot and pretend you're screwing in a lightbulb with the opposite hand, you can be in a Bollywood dance number.

34. Ted Turner: He created CNN Headline News, which paid me to talk during the inauguration. Guess who watches CNN Headline News instead of CNN during the inauguration? Because I can't.

35. The View Ladies: You give wings to the misogyny buried inside of me.

36. Gustavo Dudamel: Since you moved to L.A., your crazy hair has made my crazy hair that much less crazy.

37. Dambisa Moyo: The whole USA Not For Africa thing made me give even more to Kiva.org.

38. Rush Limbaugh: When you called Bill O'Reilly "Ted Baxter" I became a Rush Limbaugh fan. Also a Bill O'Reilly fan. Brilliant!

39. Somaly Mam: Do you know why I care about Cambodian civil rights? Because Angelina Jolie does. Also, because I memorized Pol Pot's name back in high school model U.N. and want to get some mileage out of it.

40. T. Boone Pickens: I walked by you at the Republican convention as you were getting in a golf cart with your wife, the most Texan looking woman I have ever seen. In that moment, I understood everything about Texas I'll ever need to know.

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