The Top 10 Everything of 2009

Top 10 Albums

• American Saturday Night by Brad Paisley
• Bitte Orca by Dirty Projectors
• Crack the Skye by Mastodon
• Revolution by Miranda Lambert
• Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix by Phoenix
• Love vs. Money by The-Dream
• Only Built 4 Cuban Linx, Pt 2 by Raekwon
• Veckatimest by Grizzly Bear
• I and Love and You by the Avett Brothers
• The Fame Monster by Lady Gaga

Top 10 Animal Stories

• The First Family Gets a Dog
• The President Executes a Housefly
• Pet-Pig Craze: The Teacup
• Jessica Simpson's Dog Becomes Coyote's Bitch
• Cat Gets Swine Flu
• Sheep That Shrink Like Wool Sweaters
• Chimp Mauls Woman
• Spain Debates a Ban on Bullfighting
• Bolivia Bans Circus Animals
• Scientists Levitate a Mouse

Top 10 Apologies

• A Rambling Apology from a Roving Governor
• Err Force One
• Apology Not Accepted
• A Heckler in the House
• He Didn't Let Her Finish
• Serena Williams: My Fault
• A Presidential Pardon Me
• Who's the Boss?
• California
• Keep Doing What, Ernie?

Top 10 Art Exhibitions

• Francis Bacon: A Centenary Retrospective
• William Kentridge: Five Themes
• Titian, Tintoretto, Veronese: Rivals in Renaissance Venice
• Cy Twombly: The Natural World, Selected Works 2000-2007
• Yinka Shonibare MBE
• James Ensor
• Butchers, Dragons, Gods & Skeletons
• Kandinsky
• Georgia O'Keeffe: Abstraction
• Arshile Gorky: A Retrospective

Top 10 Awkward Moments

• Balloon Boy Spills the Beans
• Kanye West Doesn't Let Taylor Swift Finish
• The Beer Summit
• Artie Lange Steals Joe Buck's Show
• Mark Sanford's Mea Culpa
• Ryan Seacrest's Regrettable High Five
• Joaquin Phoenix Bombs on Letterman
• The Colonel Is in the House
• Joe Jackson Works the Red Carpet
• Categorizing Caster Semenya

Top 10 Best Business Deals

• Berkshire Hathaway–Goldman Sachs
• JPMorgan Chase and the Deals It Didn't Do
• BB&T-Colonial
• Berkshire Hathaway–Burlington Northern
• Ford's $23.6 Billion Loan Grab
• BlackRock–Barclays Global Investors
• HP-EDS
• Google-AdMob
• Time Warner Spins Off Cable and AOL
• Mead Johnson Nutrition

Top 10 Breakups

• Silvio Berlusconi and Veronica Lario
• Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston
• Lou Dobbs and CNN
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson
• Mel and Robyn Gibson
• Jon and Kate Gosselin
• Michael Phelps and Kellogg Co.
• Oasis
• Harry and Pepper, the San Francisco Zoo's Gay Penguins
• Rihanna and Chris Brown

Top 10 Buzzwords

• Sexting
• Public Option
• Autotune
• Wise Latina
• Death Panel
• Birther
• Opposite Marriage
• Summer of Death
• Beer Summit
• Green Shoots

Top 10 Children's Books

• Duck Rabbit by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Tom Lichtenheld
• Guess Again by Mac Barnett; illustrated by Adam Rex
• Dogs Don't Brush Their Teeth by Diane deGroat and Shelley Rotner
• Crow Call by Lois Lowry; illustrated by Bagram Ibatoulline
• Elephants Cannot Dance! by Mo Willems
• Creature ABC by Andrew Zuckerman
• How Do Dinosaurs Say I Love You? by Jane Yolen and Mark Teague
• Pick a Pumpkin, Mrs. Millie! by Judy Cox, illustrated by Joe Mathieu
• The Composer Is Dead by Lemony Snicket; illustrated by Carson Ellis; music (accompanying CD) by Nathaniel Stookey
• The Snow Day by Komako Sakai

Top 10 Crime Stories

• Finding Jaycee Dugard
• The Cleveland Serial Rapist-Killer
• The Craigslist Killer
• The Headscarf Martyr
• The Mystery of the Dead Census Worker
• Murdering the Abortionist
• The Tacoma Massacre
• The Annie Le Murder
• The Deaths of Byrd and Melanie Billings
• The Return of the Pishtacos

Top 10 Editorial Cartoons

• 'Save the Women and Children ... and My Bonus Too'
• The Watchful Eye of Twitter
• 'Now Stand Aside, Worthy — Aw, Just Get Outta the Way'
• Downsizing in Detroit
• 'We Only Provided a Target'
• Eight Was Enough
• 'Now This Is It'
• Auditioning for the Supremes
• Public Option No. 1
• The Boy in the Fiscal Bubble

Top 10 Facebook Stories

• The Site that Ate the Internet
• FarmVille
• Twitter Fail
• Getting the Last Laugh
• Rewriting Your Rights
• Facebook: Read the Book, See the Movie
• Michael Jackson vs. Barack Obama
• Breast Practices
• Unfriend (Verb)
• Gatecrash-Gate

Top 10 Fashion Faux Pas

• Stars: They're Not Like Us
• Drew's Do
• Cate's Blanket
• Lady Gaga Tries Normal
• Scaling Up
• Royal Mess
• Never Mind the Bullocks
• Gray Anatomy
• Kilting Me Softly
• Stone Cold

Top 10 Fashion Moments

• Michelle Obama's Inaugural Gown
• In a Downturn, High-End Denim
• Gaga for Lady Gaga
• Shortsgate
• It's the '80s Again, Ladies
• Mad Men's Off-Air Influence
• Respect for the Hat
• Madge's Party Attire
• Sanity Returns to Shoes
• Goth Ninja

Top 10 Feuds

• Gates vs. Crowley
• Gosselin vs. Gosselin
• Cramer vs. Stewart
• Palin vs. Johnston
• Lewis vs. Thain
• Obama vs. Fox News
• Walmart vs. Amazon vs. Target
• Venezuela vs. Colombia
• Greenberg vs. AIG
• Olbermann vs. O'Reilly

Top 10 Fiction Books

• Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel
• The Financial Lives of the Poets by Jess Walter
• Swimming by Nicola Keegan
• Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
• Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned by Wells Tower
• Jeff in Venice, Death in Varanasi by Geoff Dyer
• In Other Rooms, Other Wonders by Daniyal Mueenuddin
• Beat the Reaper by Josh Bazell
• The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi
• The Kindly Ones by Jonathan Littell

Top 10 Fleeting Celebrities

• Octomom
• Susan Boyle
• Miss California
• Orly Taitz
• Dr. Conrad Murray
• Stephanie Birkitt
• The White House Gate Crashers
• John Yettaw
• Tiger Woods' Alleged Mistress
• Edgar (Patient Zero) Hernandez

Top 10 Gadgets

• Motorola Droid
• The Nook
• Dyson Air Multiplier
• iPhone 3GS
• Canon EOS-1D Mark IV
• Dell Adamo XPS
• FinePix Real 3D W1
• Casio G-Shock GW7900B-1
• Beats Solo by Dr. Dre
• Panasonic G10 Series Plasma HDTVs

Top 10 Green Ideas

• U.N. Climate-Change Summit
• Cap-and-Trade Debate in Washington
• Stricter Auto Fuel-Efficiency Standards
• General Motors Goes Bankrupt
• EPA to Regulate CO₂
• Biofuels Aren't That Green
• Factory Farming and Swine Flu
• Obama's Green Cabinet
• China's Green Stimulus
• Nissan's All-Electric Leaf

Top 10 Heroes

• Captain Chesley (Sully) Sullenberger
• Neda Agha-Soltan
• Mike Perham
• Captain Richard Phillips
• Kimberley Munley and Mark Todd
• Ally Jacobs and Lisa Campbell
• Tan Zuoren
• Leonard Abess
• Sultan Munadi
• Muelmar Magallanes

Top 10 iPhone Apps

• Tweetie 2
• Yelp
• Slacker
• FlightTrack Pro
• Mint
• SlingPlayer Mobile
• The Small Chair (McSweeney's)
• RunKeeper
• Photoshop.com Mobile
• Locavore

Top 10 Late-Night Jokes

• Dave's Dirty Laundry
• The Daily Show's CNBC Takedown
• Conan Gets a Mayor's Attention
• Why Sarah Palin Is No Letterman Fan
• The White House Gets Less Funny
• Jon Stewart: How Not to Do Interviews
• Glenn Beck: Too Wacky Even for Colbert
• Disgraced Politician Watch
• Don't Ask, Don't Take Seriously
• Overdosing on Tweets

Top 10 Magazine Covers

• New York, Feb. 22
• The New Yorker, June 1
• Texas Monthly, March
• W, October
• Tar, Spring-Summer
• The New Yorker, Nov. 2
• The Advocate, June 7
• New York, Oct. 4
• Interview, November
• Vogue Australia, September

Top 10 Medical Breakthroughs

• New Mammography Guidelines
• AIDS Vaccine
• Funding Ban Lifted on Stem-Cell Research
• H1N1 Vaccine
• Stem-Cell-Created Mice
• Prostate-Cancer Screening
• New Research on Autism
• New Drug for Osteoporosis
• New Alzheimer's Genes
• Brown Fat in Adults

Top 10 Movie Performances

• 1. Mo'nique as Mary Jones in Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
• 2. Carey Mulligan as Jenny in An Education
• 3. Saoirse Ronan as Susie Salmon in The Lovely Bones
• 4. Meryl Streep as Julia Child in Julie & Julia
• 5. Marion Cotillard as Luisa Contini in Nine
• 1. Colin Firth as George in A Single Man
• 2. Jeremy Renner as Staff Sergeant William James in The Hurt Locker
• 3. George Clooney as Ryan Bingham in Up in the Air
• 4. Christoph Waltz as Colonel Hans Landa in Inglourious Basterds
• 5. Michael Jackson as Michael Jackson in Michael Jackson's This Is It

Top 10 Movies

• The Princess and the Frog
• Up
• Fantastic Mr. Fox
• The Hurt Locker
• Up in the Air
• The White Ribbon
• A Single Man
• Of Time and the City
• District 9
• Thirst

Top 10 New Species

• Ratzilla
• Teeny T. Rex
• Glow-in-the-Dark 'Shrooms
• Land of the Pink Iguana?
• The World's Biggest Snake
• The World's Weirdest Fish
• New Spiders from New Guinea
• Frog Bonanza in Madagascar
• A Dinosaur Named Zac
• Himalayan Hoard

Top 10 News Stories

• America's Economic Crisis: Now for the Non-Recovery
• Afghanistan: Can the U.S. Avoid a Quagmire?
• Iran's Tumultuous Election and Its Aftermath
• The Divisive Debate Over Health Care Reform
• Massacre at Fort Hood: The New Face of Terrorism?
• The Death of Michael Jackson
• Pakistan: On the Verge of a Breakdown
• Mexico's Bloody Drug War
• H1N1: That's Swine Flu to You
• The End of Sri Lanka's Cataclysmic Civil War

Top 10 Nonfiction Books

• The Age of Wonder by Richard Holmes
• D-Day by Antony Beevor
• Lit by Mary Karr
• Changing My Mind by Zadie Smith
• The Lords of Finance by Liaquat Ahamed
• Logicomix by Apostolos Doxiadis, Christos H. Papadimitriou, Alecos Papadatos and Annie Di Donna
• Manhood for Amateurs by Michael Chabon
• Strength in What Remains by Tracy Kidder
• Cooking Dirty by Jason Sheehan
• John Cheever: A Life by Blake Bailey

Top 10 Oddball News Stories

• Sweden Burns Bunnies for Fuel
• 'Cello Scrotum' as Mythical Ailment
• Going in the Sky
• Rage Against the Musical Torture
• Fugitive Doll
• High Hombres
• Catering to Criminals
• Science Is for the Birds
• No More Naked Hiking
• Not Exactly Twins

Top 10 Pariahs

• Ponzi Schemer
• Octomom
• Balloon Boy's Dad
• The Whipping Boy of Wall Street
• Rihanna's Ex-Boyfriend
• Reality TV's Newly Single Dad
• Lockerbie Convict Released
• From Governor to Wannabe Reality Contestant
• Hollywood's Most Famous Former Fugitive
• Soccer's Ponytail Yanker

Top 10 Pictures of the Year

• Historic Moment
• Vigilant
• Farewell
• Tears
• Miraculous
• Armed and Dangerous
• Iran Explodes
• Gaza Digs Out
• Parched
• Summer Break

Top 10 Plays and Musicals

• Ruined
• A Steady Rain
• The Norman Conquests
• The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter
• Ragtime
• Mary Stuart
• Finian's Rainbow
• Hamlet
• Fela!
• After Miss Julie

Top 10 Political Gaffes

• Joe Biden's Swine Flu Hysteria
• Barack Obama's Bowling Blooper
• Joe Wilson's Unwanted Outburst
• Hillary Clinton Gets Lost in Translation
• Michael Steele's Abortion Aberration
• Larry Summers' White House Sleepover
• Barack Obama Opens the Floodgates
• Joe Biden's Stimulus Stumble
• Sarah Palin's Coin Conspiracy
• Michelle Obama's Buckingham Brush with Etiquette

Top 10 Quotes

• Holding Back
• Obama's Grim Reapers?
• No Retreads
• Red Peril Redux
• The King's Epitaph
• Let Them Eat Tiramisu
• Bill Who?
• Late Show Confessional
• The Silent Scream
• Schemer's Remorse?

Top 10 Religion Stories

• Secularism or Bust
• What Reformation?
• Keeping the Faith-Based
• Faith Healing Turns Fatal
• Going to the Chapel
• Dr. Dobson Has Left the Building
• Obama's Notre Dame Touchdown
• Americans Go Church Shopping
• Banning the Baha'i
• Religious Runaway

Top 10 Scandals

• The Love Guv
• Expensive MPs
• Et Tu, Letterman?
• The Family Way
• Ensign and the Assignations
• Balloon Boy
• Tiger or Lyin' Cheetah?
• Missing Minneapolis
• ACORN Falls
• Love Hurts

Top 10 Scientific Discoveries

• Our Oldest Ancestor, "Ardi"
• The Human Epigenome, Decoded
• Gene Therapy Cures Color Blindness
• A Robot Performs Science
• Breeding Tuna on Land
• Water on the Moon
• The Fundamental Lemma, Solved
• Teleportation!
• The Large Hadron Collider, Revived
• A New Planet (or Brown Dwarf?) Discovered

Top 10 Songs

• "My Life Would Suck Without You" by Kelly Clarkson
• "Two Weeks" by Grizzly Bear
• "No Line on the Horizon" by U2
• "The Fear" by Lily Allen
• "Crown on the Ground" by Sleigh Bells
• (Tie) "Stillness Is the Move" by Dirty Projectors and also Solange
• "White Liar" by Miranda Lambert
• "D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)" by Jay-Z
• "Sabali" by Amadou and Mariam
• "Mad World" by Adam Lambert

Top 10 Sports Moments

• Another Wimbledon Winner
• Golf for the Ages
• Lightning Bolts, Take Two
• Perfect Catch Saves a Perfect Game
• Phenomenal Filly
• Tiptoe to a Title-Winning Touchdown
• Rio's Olympic Win Is Chicago's Loss
• Reynolds to the Rescue
• Hockey's Dream Series
• Barcelona's Big Triple

Top 10 T-Shirt-Worthy Slogans

• Kanye West
• Tiger Woods
• Silvio Berlusconi
• Alex Rodriguez
• General Stanley McChyrstal
• Kate Moss
• Tabby Cat
• President Obama
• Lloyd Blankfein
• Ernie Anastos

Top 10 TV Ads

• Evian Roller Babies
• Hulu
• Coca-Cola
• Careerbuilder.com
• Prius
• American Express
• Travelers Insurance
• Budweiser Bud Light
• Shelter.org.uk
• General Motors Re:invent

Top 10 TV Episodes

• The Office, "Stress Relief"
• Glee, "Pilot"
• Big Love, "Come, Ye Saints"
• Dollhouse, "Briar Rose"
• Nurse Jackie, "Tiny Bubbles"
• 30 Rock, "Apollo, Apollo"
• Mad Men, "My Old Kentucky Home"
• Party Down, "Taylor Stiltskin Sweet Sixteen"
• Breaking Bad, "Phoenix"
• Curb Your Enthusiasm, "The Table Read"

Top 10 TV Series

• Mad Men
• Modern Family
• Breaking Bad
• Big Love
• Battlestar Galactica
• Lost
• Friday Night Lights
• Glee
• Sons of Anarchy
• (Tie) The Office / Parks and Recreation

Top 10 Tweets

• Ashton Kutcher
• Neil Patrick Harris
• Iran
• Oprah
• Shaquille O'Neal
• Larry Johnson
• Tracy Morgan
• Pete Hoekstra
• Cory Booker
• Miley Cyrus

Top 10 Underreported Stories

• Continuing Segregation Is Hurting U.S. Competitiveness
• Nigerian Blood for Oil
• The Maoist Insurgency in India
• America: Barring Foreign Brains?
• Ethnic Unrest in Iran
• The Deadlier Flu Virus: When Pigs Fly
• Obama Allows Faith-Based 'Discrimination'
• Who Owns the Mekong?
• Oops! U.S. Nuclear Secrets Are Posted Online
• Experimenting with Children

Top 10 Untruths

• Death Panels
• Balloon Boy
• Hiking the Appalachian Trail
• The Birther Movement
• Recovery.gov Is a Little Buggy
• Shepard Fairey Loses Hope
• Sizing Up the Tea Party
• Fake Flu-Fighting Products
• Staying Alive
• Latvia Is Bored

Top 10 Video Games

• Modern Warfare 2
• Batman: Arkham Asylum
• DJ Hero
• Borderlands
• New Super Mario Bros. Wii
• Geo-Defense Swarm
• Scribblenauts
• Halo 3: ODST
• Assassin's Creed 2
• Uncharted 2

Top 10 Viral Videos

• Susan Boyle
• Kevin Heinz and Jill Peterson's Wedding
• David After Dentist
• All the Single Babies
• Slate V: The All-Star Celebrity Rant
• 'Total Eclipse of the Heart': Literal Video Version
• United Breaks Guitars
• The Longest Way 1.0 — One Year Walk–Beard Grow Time Lapse
• Deadline: Post-It Stop-Motion
• Flutter

Top 10 Worst Biz Deals

• Stuyvesant Town
• Huntsman Corp.
• Chrysler's Bailout
• Tribune's Tribulations
• Clear Channel Lowers the Volume
• MySpace Loses Face
• Citi Sells Phibro
• Dubai's Bankers
• CityCenter
• Iceland and Ireland Lenders