I hate clubs. The painfully loud music, the too-sweet, overpriced drinks, the people who are so much better looking than I. But you don't skip the Uffizzi when you're in Florence just because you're not crazy about Italian art.

The hot club changes quickly, but right now LAX at the Luxor — yes, the Luxor (they're redoing it) — is the place to check out late at night. The Bank at the Bellagio and Tao at the Venetian, which is, by the way, the highest-grossing restaurant in the U.S., are solid. You can try an ultra-lounge — Tabu at the MGM, Pure at Caesars, Cathouse at the Luxor — which requires less dancing, but is going to be more Euro-trashy and bottle-service oriented. If you want to stare at young girls dancing on a table, go to a strip joint. Okay, fine: Spearmint Rhino or Crazy Horse Too. Happy? Now get out there and dance, no matter how drunk you have to be to do it.

• 1. LAX
  3900 Las Vegas Blvd. South, Las Vegas, NV 89119; 702-262-4529 36.096806-115.176715 laxthenightclub.com
• 2. The Bank
  3600 Las Vegas Blvd. South, Las Vegas, NV 89109; 702-693-8300 36.113942-115.172978 More Info
• 3. Tao Nightclub
  3355 Las Vegas Blvd. South, Las Vegas, NV 89109; 702-388-8338 36.120994-115.169699 taolasvegas.com
• 4. Tabú
  3799 Las Vegas Blvd. South, Las Vegas, NV 89109; 702-891-7183 36.101198-115.172424 More Info
• 5. Pure
  3570 Las Vegas Blvd. South, Las Vegas, NV 89109; 702-731-7873 36.115521-115.172919 purethenightclub.com
• 6. Cathouse
  3900 Las Vegas Blvd. South, Las Vegas, NV 89119; 702-262-4228 36.096806-115.176715 cathouselv.com
• 7. Spearmint Rhino
  3340 South Highland Drive, Las Vegas, NV 89109; 702-796-3600 36.128956-115.178605 spearmintrhinolv.com
• 8. Crazy Horse Too
  2476 Industrial Road, Las Vegas, NV 89102; 702-382-8003 36.144306-115.164568 crazyhorsetoo.com