...And Don't Forget Your Toothbrush

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1. We know you hate mobile phones, but Europe is wireless country. Get used to it.

2. Be prepared to discuss the qualities of at least three of the following football — not soccer — players: David Beckham, Edgar Davids, Stefan Effenberg, Luis Figo, Zinedine Zidane.

3. Youthful indiscretions: we love 'em! (Were you by any chance a Trotskyite at Yale?)

4. E.U. foreign policy team: Solana's the one with the beard, Patten's the buddy of Al Gore.

5. Talking point with Tony Blair: teenage kids who drink too much.

6. To most Europeans, frying applies to food, not to criminals.

7. Plan a siesta for your afternoon in Madrid. Dinner in Spain doesn't normally start until way past your bedtime.

8. In Brussels, the white stuff on your French fries is mayonnaise. Ketchup is what the Chinese will do militarily if you build Star Wars.

9. When you get to Sweden, that little glass of clear liquid they hand you Absolut-ly isn't water.

10. Last but not least: don't forget your passport! You do have one, right?